Raising Awareness
I was checking my personal email the other day and during my quick scan of the day’s subject lines from businesses I patronized exactly once or charities I gave the odd dollar to ten years ago, there was one that caught my eye and held my attention long enough to save it from immediate deletion. Here is what it said:
Did you know that Awareness has reached a 30 year low?!
I wasn’t aware of that, which made me think this email might be onto something, so I decided to open it. I was also very curious as to what people weren’t as aware of as they had been 30 years ago because I am aware of all sorts of things: various forms of cancer, cyber security, myself, etc. In fact, my Awareness has been raised to such a degree that whenever I’m informed that it’s Such-and-Such Awareness Day, I don’t alter my plans at all because I’m already aware of it.
Unfortunately, upon reading this email, I was no closer to finding out what I needed to be more aware of, but I did become worried that maybe I was not as aware as I thought! Here is a brief excerpt of the email with some of my own notes interspersed:
We here at the Dorothy T. Talbert Center for Awareness are sounding the alarm! (ED - I didn’t know there was a center for Awareness and I have no clue who Dorothy T. Talbert is or was, but I did know that alarms are the best way to raise Awareness) Despite our best efforts we are seeing record lows in Awareness across all quadrants. (ED - I also didn’t know there were quadrants for Awareness.) Only with your help can we hope to get Awareness levels back up to their glorious peak in 2009.
Friend, (ED - I was definitely not aware I was friends with the email sender) we know it’s a big ask, but if you could send in $100 we’d be able to raise Awareness like never before!
As you can read, there was not much elucidation regarding what cause or ailment required more Awareness and now this quadrant business set my Awareness back even further. So, I decided to check out their website and was greeted with much the same message. All pages that should have gone more in-depth on the goals and backstory of the Dorothy T. Talbert Center for Awareness were apparently “Under Construction” but did still have the presence of mind to ask for the $100 donation.
At this point, due to my aforementioned Awareness of Cyber Security, I was quite certain that this was a scam. However, I felt aggrieved that so flimsy a scam wouldn’t go to the trouble of fleshing out their backstory. I mean, if you’re going to attempt to purloin a few C-Notes from the pockets of the unsuspecting populace you should at least give them a little song and dance. I decided it was time to dust off my bachelor’s degree in journalism and do some digging.
It didn’t take me long to find contact information for the organization (because it was right there at the bottom of their website) and having something of a public forum in this space, I felt it wasn’t too duplicitous to fashion myself a reporter looking to help raise Awareness by interviewing someone from their organization. After a few emails, to my surprise I was able to score an interview with none other than Dorothy T. Talbert herself! The following is a transcription of our conversation, which has been edited for clarity and to skip over all the boring stuff.
Me: So, tell me about yourself. Who is Dorothy T. Talbert?
Dorothy T. Talbert: I am. I am Dorothy T. Talbert. I am the wealthy heiress to a mysterious fortune that no one knows the source of.
I did a little research before our interview and it seems that your family made its money in die manufacturing.
That would explain why I love tabletop gaming!
No, not die as in dice, a die as in the machining tool.
Oh really? What is that?
It’s a metal apparatus used to form or cut various materials into different shapes. For instance, paper clips would be made using a die.
Huh. That’s interesting. That doesn’t explain why I love tabletop gaming so much. Did that come up in your research at all?
It did not. Moving on, let’s focus on the Center for Awareness. What made you decide to found the Center and what do you think we should all be more aware of?
Well, Awareness has always been a passion of mine, ever since I was a little girl. I remember sitting in my little chair listening in awe to my parents and siblings and grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins having spirited debates over the latest trends and statistics around Awareness. As I grew older, I started becoming more involved and pretty soon it became apparent to me that the trends in Awareness were getting very troubling and if we didn’t do something soon, Awareness in this country–and indeed around the world–could completely crater!
Sure, that’s a charming anecdote, but what specifically are we talking about in terms of Awareness
We’re talking about Awareness.
Right, but like Awareness of what?
I’m not sure I’m following your question.
Well, for instance October is Breast Cancer Awareness month and various organizations try to raise Awareness of this issue to increase early detection, which can drastically increase the chances of survival in women who have breast cancer.
No, that’s unrelated to what we do. We’re just raising pure Awareness.
So, this is like a consciousness thing?
No, that deals way too much with perception and the last thing I want to get into is raising perception! What a nightmare! Don’t get me wrong, Bertrand Russell is great and all, but when it comes to Sense-Data, I’d prefer to avoid that minefield, thank you very much. I mean Wilfrid Sellars’s Myth of the Given is just too much!
Now, I know you might try to pin me down in the Jiddu Krishnamurti camp of Choiceless Awareness, but how can you really measure Awareness that is unpremeditated?
How do you measure Awareness?
Oh, we haven’t developed any special techniques, we’re just using the same data everyone else has.
And what data is that?
Well, I mean in the past 10 years, the advent of social listening platforms have allowed us to get so much more into aggregate content sentiment, plus there’s so much intent and affinity data out there, that you can get such a clearer picture of which way the wind’s blowing in terms of Awareness.
I feel like I haven’t gotten any close to figuring out what exactly your goal is in terms of raising Awareness.
And isn’t that just the perfect summation of the problem right there?
I honestly don’t know.
Exactly.
Well, can you at least tell me what the four quadrants of Awareness are?
What are you talking about?
In the latest email from your center for Awareness it says “Despite our best efforts we are seeing record lows in Awareness across all quadrants.”
Oh, I just got thrown off because you said four. We only have three.
How can you have only three quadrants?
We didn’t see the need for a fourth.
No, I mean physically. A quadrant chart consists of two intersecting axes and then you plot various points and categorize them based on which corner of the chart they are closest to. Were you not aware of what quadrants were when you picked the name?
Oh I see what you did there. “Aware”. Trying to have your “gotcha” moment. Very cute.
No, look, can you at least tell me what your three “quadrants” are?
Not off the top of my head, but I’m sure they’re important.
[LONG RESIGNED SIGH] We’re about out of time, is there a final pitch you’d like to make to my readers?
You have no idea how important Awareness is because you aren’t as aware as you should be. Please join the cause of raising Awareness by sending $100 to my Center for Awareness and help not just the world, but yourself as well.
This is a scam isn’t it?
Oh absolutely.
But aren’t you a wealthy heiress?
This is all a part of an elaborate tabletop game I’m playing called “Not for Non-Profit” where you take turns starting phony organizations to scam people. You actually just won me ten more scam tokens by interviewing me for a fluff piece.
[EXPLETIVE DELETED] So, you’re not a wealthy heiress? How do you know so much about the philosophy of Awareness? You didn’t just learn it for the game, did you?
No, I am a wealthy heiress. That’s why I was able to major in Philosophy in college because I will never have to work in my whole life, my dude.
But how did you know about social listening platforms and marketing demographics?
All wealthy heiresses are influencers, duh.
Well, this has been a colossal waste of my time.
If it makes you feel any better, I honestly had no idea what a die was before or where my family money came from, so if anything you raised my Awareness. That’s kind of poetic in a way. I also minored in poetry. OK byeeeee!